


Hair

by Yagi



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Fluff, M/M, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5693617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yagi/pseuds/Yagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shitennou hair headcanons, from a post I started on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hair

Zoisite sat in a dining chair that had been pulled into the kitchen, a towel draped around his neck as a makeshift cape. His dirty blond hair was out of its usual ponytail and still wet from having been freshly washed; some of it hung down his back, while most was held out of the way by a big plastic clip. Kunzite stood behind him with a comb and shears in hand, carefully trimming off the split ends.

 

“Don't cut off too much, Kunzite-sama, please,” Zoi said, twisting a bit in the chair to try to see how much hair was hitting the floor.

 

“If you would let me cut it more often, I wouldn't have to take so much at a time,” came the terse reply. “Now stop squirming or you'll make me mess up, and I'll have to cut more just to even it.”

 

Zoi quickly straightened back up in the chair and sat still to avoid such a fate, but he still wanted to know, “How much are you cutting off?”

 

“About an inch... or two...” Truthfully, it was more like the latter.

 

Zoisite let out a shriek. “Two inches? But you know I've been trying to let it grow.”

 

Kunzite cringed at the shriek, and decided now was not the time to mention he'd decided to cut in some long layers as well to help make it less bushy. Zoisite's only instructions had been to get it looking nice again; he hadn't specified a length or style. How silly Kunz had been to assume that gave him leeway to do what he felt was best.

 

He let down another section from the clip. “Yes, but you still should have regular trims to keep it healthy as it grows, otherwise the ends split. You know this; we go through it every time.”

 

Suddenly the door was flung open and Jadeite burst into the room in a panic.

 

“I heard a scream. Is everything all right in here?” he asked breathlessly, before he took in the situation and concluded no one was being attacked or killed here. His panic quickly turned into confusion. “Zoisite, are you getting a haircut? I thought you were letting it grow.”

 

“It was supposed to be just a trim,” Zoi said with a pout in his voice. “He's cutting it too short.”

 

Jadeite chuckled. “That's not short. My hair is short.”

 

“And I'll never understand why you cut it,” Zoi said. “It was so pretty long.”

 

“Too much work. I like being able to just run my fingers through and go.”

 

“Kunzite-sama can do that and his is long.”

 

Kunzite had amazing hair, Zoi had always thought, soft as silk and fine as frog's hair, but there was a lot of it. He never did anything to it except wash it and run a comb through, but somehow it always looked perfect, as if it didn't dare defy his authority and misbehave. Zoi was envious; his own hair was coarse, curly, prone to frizz and tangles, and it always seemed to have a mind of its own. He washed it twice a week and conditioned every day to keep it from getting too dry. He'd spend an hour carefully untangling it with his fingers and a wide-toothed comb, if need be. But even with all that, it was still so bushy and unruly he always got frustrated and just pulled it back in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. Jadeite's hair shared more characteristics with Zoi's hair than with Kunzite's, however, and he didn't have the same skill and patience with untangling, so a few years ago he had made the decision to cut it short. He had yet to ever regret it.

 

“I like my hair as it is,” Jadeite said with a shrug.

 

The door opened again and Nephrite came through on his way to the fridge. When he saw what was going on in the kitchen he didn't miss a beat. “Cut it all off,” he encouraged.

 

“NO!” Zoi protested, as if he honestly thought his mentor might listen to the suggestion.

 

“You know I would never do that,” Kunzite reassured him with a kiss on the top of his head. “I love your hair.”

 

Zoi gave one of his patented smug looks to his rival, but Nephrite was unfettered. The brunet took a large red apple from the fridge and took a bite. He nodded towards the chair. “I'm next.”

 

“I should start charging,” Kunzite said as he let down the last section and started to work on it.

 

“Hey, it's not like there are that many options for haircuts here in the Dark Kingdom,” Nephrite said. “Basically it's either you or that youma, and I don't trust the youma.”

 

“Glad to hear I'm a better choice than a youma.”

 

“What's wrong with the youma?” Jadeite asked, apparently honestly.

 

“Jadeite, go look in a mirror and then ask that question again,” Nephrite sassed.

 

Jadeite elbowed him in the ribs over that, and received one in return from Neph. A few more elbows were exchanged, but in the end, rather than a fight breaking out, both men burst out into laughter. Even Kunzite found it hard to suppress a small smile. It was good to see them getting along rather than being at each other's throats.

 

“All right, I think we're all done here,” Kunzite finally announced as he removed the towel and offered Zoisite a hand mirror.

 

It was still wet, so he wouldn't really know what it looked like until it was dry, but, “It looks so much better,” Zoi said as he looked himself over. “What did you do differently?”

 

Kunzite's normally stoic face took on a sheepish expression. “Whatever you do, don't look down.”

 

Of course, Zoi immediately did, and he immediately regretted it when he saw how much hair was on the floor. Tears started to well up in his eyes. Kunzite nearly vaulted over the chair to reach him. He held the smaller man to his chest and stroked his damp curls. But he refused to go as far as to say he was sorry.

 

“Don't cry,” he said, probably more firmly than he intended- it almost sounded like an order. “As you said yourself, it looks a lot better.”

 

“You look great,” Jadeite chimed in helpfully.

 

“It looks awful,” Nephrite deadpanned.

 

“Not smart, coming from the man who wants to be next,” Kunzite said.

 

Neph laughed, but did back off his statement a little by saying, “It's really not so bad.” It was about as close to a compliment as the youngest king was likely to get from him.

 

Zoi sniffled a bit and nodded, before he went on tiptoe to give Kunzite a peck on the lips. “Thank you, Kunzite-sama.”

 

The taller man deepened and extended the kiss, not caring that there were others in the room watching, until Nephrite called out, “Get a room, you two!”

 

If looks could kill, Nephrite would have been dead right then and there from the glare Zoi directed his way.

 

“All right, next,” Kunzite said.

 

“Scalp him for me,” Zoi said with another peck on the lips.

 

Nephrite sat down with no apparent fear of that happening. “Just nip the ends a little, all right? I'm letting it grow.”

 

“All right,” Kunzite said as he draped the towel over Nephrite's shoulders and sprayed it down with a water bottle. After sectioning off the other man's hair he began to comply with the request.

 

Zoi was incredulous. “For him you'll just nip the ends?”

 

“He doesn't have split ends like yours.”

 

Nephrite would never allow his hair to get that bad. Of all the Shitennou, he was the pickiest (read: most vain) about his appearance in general and his hair in particular. He spent some 45 minutes a day washing, untangling and styling his long, thick, luxurious locks using only the finest and most expensive products. Although his hair had a lot of natural wave to it, he liked to sleep with it in rag curlers every night to make it even curlier. It was soft and fluffy and (he felt) pretty much perfect, although unlike Kunzite he had to work hard to achieve it.

 

Zoi folded his arms and “hmph”ed at the explanation given, but didn't try to argue the point. His ends really had been looking pretty ragged, which was why he'd finally had to suck it up and ask Kunzite to cut it. (He didn't trust the youma any more than Nephrite did.)

 

“But, Kunzite, who do you go to when your hair needs cutting?” wondered Jadeite. “Is it the youma?”

 

“Hmm? Oh, no, I,” he paused conspicuously to clear his throat. “I'm a do-it-yourselfer.”

 

“Ooh,” Zoi said, a bit in awe that the man was able to do that without ruining it.

 

“I don't recommend it,” Kunzite added. “It's too easy to make a mistake and ruin yourself.”

 

Kunzite wasn't nearly as concerned with his own appearance as he should have been, or so it seemed. He left his uniform collar open and pants untucked as a matter of habit and gave little concern for his hair. The fact his good looks were so effortless- and indeed seemed to defy his own efforts to sabotage himself- only served to elevate him further in Zoisite's eyes.

 

“All right, I believe we have you squared away,” Kunzite said after a while. As requested, he had taken off as little as possible, a fact which Nephrite certainly appreciated. The brunet got up and Kunzite gestured to the seat. “Jadeite?”

 

“I'm good,” the younger man said. “just got mine done last week.” Yes, he had gone to the youma.

 

“Then would you help me clean up?”

 

Jadeite nodded and carried the chair back to the dining room. Zoisite held the dustpan as Nephrite swept up the clippings and Kunzite put away the implements.

 

Nephrite couldn't resist the urge to troll Zoi the moment his mentor was out of the room. “Do you need  a moment to say your good-byes?” he asked, gesturing to the dustpan's contents.

 

Zoi scowled as he unceremoniously dumped the contents into the trash can.

 

“Such nice hair you have,” the blond said. “What a shame it would be if something happened to it.”

 

“I stopped listening after you complimented my hair,” Nephrite retorted, giving his brown curls a toss.

 

“Good, then you won't be expecting it when it happens,” Zoi said, “and it will happen.”

 

The wheels in his mind were already turning with ideas of terrible things to substitute for Nephrite's precious hair products. This was going to be the most devastating prank ever...


End file.
